Learning from my mistakes

Image credit: cagkansayin from Getty Images

Think of all the people you admire and those who inspire you. They’ve made mistakes before. Big ones - the “rush of shame all over” ones. We all do it - making mistakes is part of being human.

Even the most skilled and qualified people make mistakes, including celebrated neurosurgeon Henry Marsh. Before he retired, he was a Senior Consultant at one of the UK’s largest brain surgery units and trained surgeons in Nepal and Ukraine. He pioneered performing brain surgery under local anesthetic.

Despite all these achievements, things go wrong. In his memoir Do No Harm: Stories of Life, Death and Brain Surgery, Marsh writes candidly about his mistakes and living with their consequences, alongside reflections on what he’s learned about life from his surgical career.

Mr. Henry Marsh. Image credit: Horst Friedrichs, Writer Pictures

And this honest, humble and compassionate approach to mistakes, alongside the new #failurefriday trend, has inspired me to share some of mine. Because when we acknowledge and reflect on our mistakes, we turn them into an opportunity for learning and growth.

The mistake: miscalculating cost estimates

I once underpriced some work for a new client while working at a multi-national energy organization.

I had no idea I’d underpriced it. I’d collected the costs carefully, added the required margin to reduce risk, and even had it checked by a colleague. So, you can imagine my surprise when three months later, I get asked, “how are we meant to deliver for this price?”.

I looked at the numbers again – my heart sank. I’d missed one line out of the total. This small error meant one of the core services wasn’t factored into the price. That red hot feeling came all over me in an instant. That feeling of dread and shame. We all know it.

At the time, I told my Director, and we worked out a solution. He helped me to talk it through. While I was grateful for his support, I wanted to rectify the situation further.

What I learned: a consistent pricing model was needed

This mistake reminded me how important it is to check my work rigorously, and it also opened my eyes to a bigger problem: we didn’t have a cost model to price up our services accurately. Directors estimated costs based on their knowledge.

My mistake highlighted the need for a more efficient, accurate and consistent way to price up our services to prevent an error like this from happening again.

So what did I do? I built one, tested and re-tested it, walked all of the Directors through it and had it signed off by all involved. One mistake led to many benefits for the organization. And I’ve been able to use my cost modelling skills to help many social impact organizations scale.

The mistake: taking on too much

Image credit: Vadim Zhakupov from Getty Images

We’ve all done it. Said yes to everything. I love to help, and if there’s a problem to solve – I’m always eager to take it on.

But it does take its toll. I had no idea that work would keep coming in during the early days of starting Victoria Gay Consulting. I was in the scarcity mindset. I took on so much work out of fear that it would soon dry up.

I worked all hours of the day, and if my kids were unwell or family commitments came up, I’d continue working into the night.

What I learned: to use the support of my networks

Thankfully, I’ve moved out of the scarcity mindset now. I was burning myself out, which compromised the impact I could have for my social impact clients, my business, and my family. My business is all about creating positive change, and to do that effectively, I needed to take care of myself too.  

I’ve now built a network of fellow consultants I can refer work to when I’m at capacity. I also work capacity building into each of my clients’ projects so they need less ongoing support and can continue deepening their impact while I focus on other initiatives.

The mistake: only offering one perspective

I come from an academic background, so I know how important it is to analyze problems critically. To look at them from all angles and perspectives. To scope out and in to see the minutiae and the big picture.

And I love doing this – it’s one of the first elements of any project.

But this practice didn’t come into play for one project. I was asked to propose an impactful opportunity to a Board, and I weighted the messaging towards its many benefits in anticipation of negative feedback.

Most people can sense when they’re being swayed, and this Board saw straight through it.

What I learned: following the process pays off 

Had I taken a step back, grounded myself in the bigger picture, and recognized the audience, the proposal may have been taken more successfully.

Fortunately, after a few hard conversations and questions, the opportunity for more significant impact didn’t pass this Board by. But now, I have a defined process for projects to enhance my interactions and prevent missing a step.

We’re always learning, so we’ll always make mistakes

These are just some of my mistakes, and I’m sure I’ll make many more as I keep learning and exploring. Learning isn’t a linear process. There’ll be bumps along the way that we can’t always anticipate.

And no matter how much shame and dread you feel in the moment, your mistakes don’t define you. We’re all human, we’ve all been there, and hopefully, we’re a bit wiser for our mistakes.

What are some of the memorable mistakes from your career? What did they teach you, and how have you used them for growth? I’d love to hear your stories, too - please drop me a comment on LinkedIn to share them.